Brrrrrrrrrrrrraeddddddddd!!!

Tired of the routine, I went shopping and this was no ordinary shopping. Into my 7^th month and not showing much, I made my way to the maternity section. One and two and no more of the expensive maternity wear. My mind was racing onto a new section – the lingerie section!!!

Aaah!!! The rows and columns of chic bras; variety, colours, laces galore. To top it all, I was armed with a good reason to shop for all the above. The salesgirl came by and waited patiently for me to look around till I asked her to measure me for a trial. Happy, I went ahead and picked one up, “My size, please.” (don’t expect me to put it online, do you? ;) Soon, I was in the changing room, trying it out… ooooooooh I simply loved it. I came out hungry for more and the experience, feel and touch was more to be left unsavored. After 4 more trials, I felt refreshed and happy…

Never knew such a routine activity can actually be so exciting and adventurous. Almost like a new discovery but then the entire pregnancy period is one of excitement and discovery. I am unaware as to why I cherish this memory so much… the nice auto ride to the mall alone, the helpful saleswoman and the peaceful billing counter, gives me a feel good memory; not to mention the many pleasant trials.

I again made a quick visit to the western maternity section and saw a young couple trying out fancy maternity clothes. Feeling a hint of loneliness, I moved ahead to check out the same. As I was deciding on a softest-pair-of-pants on the planet, with a flexible tummy area, I was distracted by something; something very alien to me yet intruding especially when I was on a complete personal gratification trip. The ‘husband’ of the nice couple was looking in my direction and with more than curious eyes… What???? I couldn’t understand, so you’ll chat up with me while your expecting wife is changing into her mod-mom suit? You want to know the trimester I am on or want my mobile cum personal number?

So much for a couple shopping, I thought and couldn’t help but smile by myself in the changing room at the irony of life even in delicate situations. I bundled up my possessions and made my way to the baby section for baby safe plug points. As I was making my way towards home, I was seemingly tired and the all-enthu, auto driver added to my woes with his bumpy auto ride; but I’ll always cherish this shopping trip.

Curious relationship

I am drawn to him, day or night; I can always make time for him. An unassuming part of my life, but a very important one. Like a pet or a sampling, he asks for my attention and only unconditional love pulls me to him.
Uncertainty filled me as we started our relationship. “How far will it go?’ my friend asked concerned. But looking at each other with each passing day, we knew our bond would only grow. Everyday, I keep a watchful eye on what he is nourished with. That being an important part of our relationship, it’s an important part of my mornings. I leave him alone giving him the much needed space and time and he only rewards me bountifully, when we meet again.
We have raised curious eyebrows and people only want to know more about relationship. It’s more than 6 months now and my compost pot has yielded enough manure to nourish a small garden.
Simple concern on the growing rubbish on the streets made me turn to a simple earthen pot, in which I store all my biodegradable kitchen waste. Doubt and uncertainty saw me open the lid the first couple of times but the debris of my last night’s dinner only attracted me more. I mixed the compost affectionately and looked for any plastic remains that may obstruct the decomposing. Sprinkling lime to wade away the smell, dry grass and newspaper pieces to dry up the pile – I was turning around good! Soon I graduated to 2 pots; one for collection and the other for storage. Finally, the black residue at the bottom of my first pot signalled the passage of time and fresh manure made me proud. I anxiously set about straining my manure and the touch of the fine earth, made it worth the wait.
The smell, the process of decomposing, the rodents, mixing up a wet pile and finally straining the fine black soil – fruits of labour. I gifted my small work of art to a couple of like minded people, with a pride that one feels presenting a tempting dish or a kanjivaram saree.
Couldn’t have asked for a better relationship with my compost pot. And for the process of composting, I never knew one can find happiness, cutting a rotten water melon skin, only to put in my pot part by part.
In this simple process of nature, I have learnt that beauty lies inconspicuous everyday things that we sometime called ‘ugly’; only inspection doesn’t lead to accomplishments but hands on service does, what’s inside counts and it’s the humble manure, which makes the flowers bloom bright.

Memorable break in Cherai

After many travel plans and contemplating, planning and contemplating; I finally reached my gynaecologist’s clinic with the necessary scan reports. My heart was beating in the anticipation of my Kochi trip, which was at the mercy of my doctor’s approval. With nothing but utmost concern for my little one, I entered my doctor’s cabin and waited for her not to disrupt my husband’s weekend break.
“Low lying placenta,” she looked at me concerned. “Oooooooooooh,” went my heart. “In some women, we find this, but you can go ahead, just be very very careful”. Then a very concerned doctor added, “No relationship at all.” I smiled and nodded, thinking, “We’ll have to do with that.”
Reached home, half excited, half tired and logged in…. There our flight is booked, ooooooooooh just in time for the last lake facing villa on Cherai Beach Resort!!!
Started our day really early – 2.30am and I woke up before my alarm. Reached the new Bangalore International Airport and were greeted by the frenzy of fellow travellers. More than an hour later, we set our foot on the Kochi airport to be greeted by Ranjit our chauffer. After a drive of 25 minutes and crowded streets with school children dressed for 15th August, we reached our destination - Cherai. Once we entered Cherai, all we could see around us was the soothing stretch of the infinite backwaters with a sole fisherman trying a catch.
Siddhs checked in and as he followed the bell boy, I could see a smile spread on his lips slowly to give a wide grin. That was just the beginning of our memorable holiday.
Phew... satisfied as all the bookings were completely my call.
From a neat reception, we passed some heritage villas and straight into the backwaters and into our pretty villa. It was a feeling I always remember and a holiday I’ll always cherish. Our villa in the middle of the backwaters came with a nice sit-out. I was happy to see that the resort follows eco-friendly guidelines, as milk packets were replaced by a huge milk container; guests were urged to save water and energy (with sign boards); also you could request housekeeping not to change the bed lining in a bid to save water :).
Friendly staff greeted us as we went for a walk along the backwaters. We went looking for the beach and interestingly the heavy tides crashed on the rocky shore just a few steps outside the resort. The stormy sounds from the beach called us and the sight of roaring tides crashing into the rocks created quite a contrast from the soothing backwaters, we visited a few hours ago.
Afternoon was spent sight-seeing with us struggling to communicate to the only- Malyalee-sparingly- English speaking Ranjit. We saw quite a number of antique replicas, a Malyalee traditional masala box, caught my eye.
But we were more than happy to return to the resort via a ferry ride. The delicious spread of Indian food with a Kerala section, aroused my appetite before I slumped into a deep slumber after a long and joyous day.
The look of the resort was a treat in itself with heritage villas, each uniquely designed to represent Kerala’s beautiful architecture. The paths were dotted with small bridges, sit-outs, swings and a tree house to complete the ethnic look.
Next day was even exciting as I made my way to the Ayurmana Spa for Siddhs’ Ayurveda massage as Siddhs arrived in a boat – truly majestic. The masseur Lallu, a young but experienced man, worked wonders on Siddhs’ body as he greased and massaged it.
In the streamer and Siddhs was rejuvenated into a new being. The Uzhichil massage was a stress buster, no wonder, Siddhs now thinks of Lallu, after a hard day’s work. I couldn’t resist the boat on my return journey to the resort and Siddhs dragged me along. The boat gives a nice feeling of being transported through the water with a very cheerful boatman, posing beautifully for my camera.
In all our holiday was spent relaxing in the hammock under coconut trees, walking amidst beautiful waters and greens, sipping hot tea in our cottage sit-out, watching the fishermen artistically fish for their booty, casual fishing in the backwaters, watching the high tides crash on the rocky beach or simply taking in the view from your villa.

Being an underdog

Its difficult being an underdog, an underdog when you know you could shine. Shine like the rest of the world, in a world of fake laughs and air kisses; in days of false companionships and selfish affirmations. But all of us at some point want to belong to this world, belong and grow; believing somewhere we are different from the rest of the world frowning upon them for their hypocrisy and cowardly lives.

I therefore, proclaim I'm an underdog, shy - don't scream my achievements from the roof tops, naive - don't criticise other people's success, subservient - don't brag about my life.

My energies are rather saved for a non-publicized, effective work day with warm greetings and harmless jokes, a thought to the rising carbon and time for most cherished hobbies. I remember my college days; youth brimming with ambitions and 'change the world' plans. Carefree penniless days spent lazing around, messy bachelor's den; am I forgetting something – heated classroom debates, taking a stand, sole war against child labour in the neighbourhood tea stall, say no to plastic??? Where do all these idealisms go? Out into the harsh world? Harsh world that makes one compromise for a flat and a car? To fit in into another round hole? Prove it they said, prove yourself in the job before you look elsewhere, ok, done; don't feel anything. Is this why one has to brag as a reconfirmation of the success in one's own life?

Fulfillment. What is fulfillment? Sunday after days of productive office work? Expensive jewellery with a chauffeured car? Travel is a window to the world, it's said; does travelling leisurely make it worthwhile or would you rather stick to the economical bus? Is it a US citizenship and a loaded bank account?

Where do the simpler things of life fade away? "Your smile springs me to life", "I did it for you." Why can't it stay and fill you up so you look no further? Why does the burning desire of 'kuch karna hai' fade away to 'retirement ke liye bachchana hai.'

Somewhere between all this thought to life and its confusion, I think I found an answer. To each his own. We may meet in various social set ups but each has a life of his own and battles to fight. If life is a puzzle, it expects you to solve it in your own unique way for only there lies the key and not by copying another's code. I started out wanting a career and live by my feministic views... Career and feminism literally shadowed my future dreams. Dreams, which are much more important than the ever-sought after money and fame. A supporting and caring life partner, who gives me the space to grow. Puts up with my home composting and anti-plastic war. Cares enough to cook rice and tolerant enough to take my punches and oft-repeated jokes.

I was so engrossed in comparing my life that I failed to see that this is the very life I was aspiring to live. Time away from work, interacting with artisans and ngos, my bit to the environment and a boyfriend in my husband. I think I have reached maturity.

Heritage trip in Karnataka

The routine of our days that makes for most of our lives, too sometimes gives way and asks for more. The diligent office goer rushing into the local transport, the homemaker going through the grocery list, the artist looking for inspiration all, taking a back seat for lack of zeal and ambition to withstand another day of mundane activity.
On one such day, I ventured out to make the most of my educated self for the sole purpose of a fulfilling career. The coffee seemed tasteless, office jokes lost their fizz, deadlines seemed mocking from the board. Three hours and half at my desk and my mind races to the lack of exercise in my life. A short trip to the water filter and I fool myself with this little activity for my limbs. Past my lunch time and am ready to go. Phew another day gone by!!!.
As I walk back home, the mall excites, the channa walla calls cheerfully; several young hearts walk by talking frenziedly on their cell phones. No not the mall again, I think, with the glittering lights and colourful plastic, tetra pack, additives; all but a mess of the urban life taking over our lives.
I enter my refuge and indulge with an hour long bath; memory of the school and college pass me by; my first teenage crush and the awkward silence first time, Siddharth met my parents.
On one such day, Siddharth came home with a plan – a travel plan to explore the ancient temples, that have always got me excited. It was the Ugadi break and we made our way to Hassan early Sunday morning with another colleague. With minimum baggage and melodious tunes, we set out to explore a rural part ancient architecture. The morning clam, the clean air and good jokes, we were about to accelerate and jammmmmmmmmmm, the city's traffic caught us un- alarmed.
About an hour and a half of driving at a tortoise's speed, we reached the foot of the Vindhyagiri hill in Shravanabelagola. As we took to the never-ending steps, the mountain got steeper. A fantastic view and a dizzy head called for many breaks on the way. But the excitement got the better of us as we were a few steps short and quickened our space for the final darshan.
The 50 foot high monolith, stood gracefully watching over all of us, yet elusive to the world. A symbol of thyaga and determination, Bhahubali is the tallest monolith in the whole world. The intricate carvings of Bahubali's curls, his determined nose and the creepers on his limbs simply put together a tale of a man's search for moksha and of the artisans committed to create a masterpiece, one of it's kind. After a trek of over 800 steps, the feeling of piousness and peace, is rewarding for the mind and the body.

Our next stop on this heritage seeking journey, were the quite twin towns of Belur-Halebidu, where the famous Hoysaleshwara temple in Halebidu and Chenakeshava in Belur are situated. The Hoysaleshwara temple is dedicated to Lord Shiva and has two enormous Nandi bulls at the entrance. One of them, a must see stands for the most decorated nandis in India. Glorious temple telling us of an era gone by, the splendour of the times and architectural marvel leaving one spell bound. The temple interiors are formed in 3 sanctums - one where the diety was worshipped being the inner most sanctum, second was for meditation and the third for the dance in glory of the deity. The walls and the roof of the temple, have intricate and detailed carvings.
The Belur temple dedicated to Queen Shantaladevi, a dancer with surpassingly beauty, has the walls decorated with several figures in dancing poses.
Stepping outside one can spend a lifetime, studying the cravings and figures. The various expressions of a woman; one proud of her beauty, a woman dressing up but sad and longing for her loved one. This particular expression is explained better by her dasi holding a bunch of grapes from a monkey. The monkey stares at the grapes and sucks his own hand, when he is unable to get the fruit – a metaphor for the disappointment felt by the woman. Women as dancers, musicians and hunters are portrayed by their decor and accomplices with musical instruments or bows and arrows.
Lord Shiva fighting inside an elephant, when a the demon came in the form of the animal, is clearly depicted with the elephant head and limbs around the dancing figure. The temple also gave social messages through their pictorial carvings, a saint who had a taste for the intoxicant drink, is shown with the tree, a bird and a snake. Interestingly interpreted as, 'the drink in moderation can make you free as a bird but excess can be like a deadly serpent.'(Halebidu)
Other than tales from the epics like Ramayan, Mahabharata depicting warrior heroes like Bheema, Arjuna, the Chakravyuva, Narashima; the temple also shows women with a various hair makedos, the hierarchy where a warrior women dasi has another dasi, removing a thorn from her feet on a hunting expedition. A must mention of the portrayal of a Sanskrit shloka 'When a man is 16 years old, he can love even a donkey faced girl;' simply by a male figure with a donkey faced human being. (Belur)

After decades of dedicated work, the Belur temple still remains incomplete. The sculptors believed that life and art is about never-ending learning and have left a blank space on the revolving Narasimha pillar in Belur temple, to be filled by anyone with the talent. The space remains blank till today.
The beauty of these temples, are for an eyes to see and the mind to take in all the peace they emit into their surroundings. The study of these architectural wonders can lasts for several days but we had to return but with a promise to return.