Years on, and my children demonstrated this theory, each in their
unique way.
My daughter started school, excited and happy. New uniform,
big pink bag and new friends. Little did she know that soon, the teachers are
going to shout down her tiny frame “S write S”. “E within the two lines”.
“Fast, you have to finish 2 more pages”. While she only wanted to share her
drawing with her right side nieghbour and pinch her left side neighbour, who
was nagging her for her eraser. Soon she disliked going to school. Finally, they resigned in one PTM meet saying,
“Your daughter is unable to write. See how the other children write. At this
rate, I don’t think she’ll be able to fit in.” The other children in question
went to pre-school, while my daughter was at home with mom busy with her baby
brother.
Not that the comments deterred my outlook towards her
education, I happened to read about, ‘Tiger Mom’. The Chinese style of
parenting, where you (the parents) expect the child to (simply put) buck up
with practice and rote if need be.
Well, before another teacher could point out what my child
couldn’t do and worse still, in front of her, I started her lessons. And not just practice or rote. Understanding.”
How do you write, ‘Den’? - ‘da’, ‘da’.” A change of school happened and we came to
colourful classes, friendly faces, fun events and less shouting. As she
progressed to higher classes, “Your daughter finishes her notes first and helps
everyone in class, to complete their notes.” Phew!!! Smile! A silent pat on my
own back ☺
She not only improved her work and grades but just breezed through activities and competitions. Not necessarily winning but without anxiety and always taking initiative (in class or birthday parties). In the process, she does more in a group and comes back more fulfilled.
She not only improved her work and grades but just breezed through activities and competitions. Not necessarily winning but without anxiety and always taking initiative (in class or birthday parties). In the process, she does more in a group and comes back more fulfilled.
And it translates to rock climbing, swimming, dance and
play.
My son the ever enthu, bundle of joy simply tires me out.
‘Run, jump and climb’ is his mantra of childhood. And water is irresistible.
But the routine of the swimming pool bores him. He has broken more toys than he
has played with. But he will all by himself, unlock a tough automatic door lock
and slid the gate backwards to climb to the top of the car. These can’t go on a
report card and I’m glad they are not going for any kind of evaluation. Some attributes, like moments, are for living
and not to be put on a scale. So when he prefers to sit on the edge of the
skating rink and play with his skates instead and watch the crowd skating by; I
don’t worry cause he knows what the sport is and is there to enjoy it.
All of four and his teacher tells me, he doesn’t write and
he only scribbles with his crayons without colouring. ‘Ok, a four year old,
better scribble.’ I smile and not think about it. A year passes on and he’s
scribbling in his sister’s old Maths workbook. The scribbling goes from page to
page and finally he starts copying the 1,2,3 in the big empty boxes next to the
numbers. God, I couldn’t be happier or
relieved for that matter. I thought to myself, ‘Let the child be.’ Each to his
own. Without any acknowledge or discussion on what happened so casually in
front of me, I knew my child will do just fine without the pressure, the
nagging or the rigorous study routine; I had to use with my daughter. Soon, the
teacher observed and his ‘I, 2,3’ shone bright in class.
When I stand by my children in their classes, give them pep
talk and look around for engaging things for them to do; I also remind myself.
‘Art for art sake.’ Classes for joy, making new friends and being part of a
team / a routine. Whether you want to stand out, let the child decide.
