Monday, January 11, 2010

Where does feminism go from here?

I wanted to be a teacher all my school days, wanted to fall in love, during my college days and go to office during my PG days. In the process I became a self sufficent, practical, independent adult.
'Confidence' over took the akward timidness, reserved shy nature took to aggressive and pushy; sometime loud self assertiveness and the wonder in my eyes was replaced by mundane everyday practicality.
"I know," "I can do it myself", "I don't need a drop,"; my feministic brain never knew helplesness or submissive behaviour. "How am I going home?"; "You are so sweet" - alein words.
My prince in shinning armour did come and did sweep me off my feet but I lost on some of those mushy moments, chasing the stars; my prince didn't really have to rescue me. Much so I made the first move to capture my lover's attention.
And whatever fairy tale moments I did have, I felt, 'Oh, so guilty, why didn't I take care of it myself.'
So here I am, lighting a lone candle once in a while, buying a flower for myself, taking all my doctor's appointments, fixing the leaky tap, booking our vacations, handling hubby's work stress - without a day off! Phew!!!
Did Germaine Greer think of these while defining feminism? Does this make me a feminist, woman taking care of herself. Assertive, strong, presentable and independent?
And devoid of emotion sometimes? Don't feel guilty giving my husband the slient treatment. Though take his casual flirting in my stride, no tears lost there! Don't enjoy being the dependable agony aunt, who can take care of herself. Understand office pressures and lack of quality time only because have worked in an office before? Would rather be illiterate with an oily knot and fancy ribbon, cajoled by her lover to smile through her tears.
Where do we feminists go after this? While trying not to be a doormat, we become the rooster on the roof, pretty withstanding the seasons but unreachable.
I would anyday, go back to the days, where life was still a cramped book of secrets; waiting for the college hottie to make a move, awaiting a cousin's gift, expecting a pick up, looking for a 'guy' shoulder, asking silly questions for reassurance and giving teary explanations. Still like a guy to pay my bill, open the door for me and actually put his cigarete off.

4 comments:

Nandini said...

WOW! Extremely good. So well put. So incisive. And so sensitive. Most of all, very well written! Kudos and keep it up!

Unknown said...

Feminism, I believe in my perspective is being "independant" in all respects. This of course does not steal away our feminine side of attracting males, getting pampered by our spouses etc etc. These are the comforts a woman must enjoy, its every woman's birthright. So strike a balance with feminist/feminine side and life will be a bed of roses. Its situational. Radha, I love the way u put it and definately well written.

Kriti Dutta said...

i would say this is perrrrfect description and so agree with you my dear

Enduring the Babbles of Life said...

ha ha anu - it's been quite a while since I've been to my blog or anyone else's!!! this is awesome! so honestly, what do we do? we do secretly want that chivalrous one next to us; but we find great pleasure in booking that trip to matheran, as a surprise ;) so what do we do? i don't think that when we r planning a trip, it is coz of feminism - i think it is simply romanticism; but when we do get that hidden desire to be swept off our feet; we identify ourselves with the definition of 'femininity' - my humble opinion - u nailed it so well!!